Wednesday, January 23, 2008

I almost got them back...- Trust/respect/honesty

Do you remember when I posted about my shoes that I never saw again? Well I almost got them back today. 4 months later. No phone call, nothing.

Monday night my friend and her hubby came around unexpectedly. The first thing she says is that she is sorry about the shoes. Of course I said "never mind". What was I supposed to say?

When they were about to leave she promised she would come by today and at the same time return the shoes. I asked her several times if she was really coming by and not just saying so pointing out that I would expect her. I also asked what time she would come to stress it extra that I would be waiting for her. She would come after lunch and if she couldn't make it she would definitely call me.

Well lunch came and went and now it is 8pm and I haven't heard anything. I made sure to stress around a little extra so that I would not have to think about everything that needs to be done when she was here.

And you know what, it is not about the shoes. It is about respect.

Why do I feel like a silly fool expecting her to come? Why did I think to myself " I bet she won't come"? I don't want to think that way about people, I want to be able to trust that someone who makes a promise keeps it. I try and try and try really hard to not believe people when they say something but I do, knowing in my heart that whatever the person promises will not happen in 99 times out of 100.

And it makes me so sad.

It is not the first time my friend has stood me up so to say, she does it all the time. And I tell you what, I really want to believe that if she had done something like this outside of Brazil, Europe for example, that person would not trust her easily again. And I really feel like saying that to her, to tell her that I am sick'n tired of her attitude and she needs to grow up and show some bl**dy respect to people! Especially her friends or those she wants to be her friends. She keeps saying she wants us to become better friends, well with his attitude she won't get closer that's for sure.

And to make it even sadder this is a Christian woman with strong beliefs, that makes me sad. I don't recall that it says in the bible that white lies are accepted or for you not to keep your promises.

Luke 16:10 - "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much."

"An honest life shows respect for God;
a degenerate life is a slap in his face."
Proverbs 14:2 The Message Bible.

7 Coffee´s on the table, please have some coffee

Mahthellin said...

Is there a reason why you couldn't pop in at her house and pick them up? You could assume that she hasn't thought about the urgency since she has so many shoes. Or maybe she has and just hasn't done it. Sounds like she feels a little guilty. But since she hasn't brought them back, seems to me you could drop by, visit, and retrieve them. You get to give grace (which by definition is undeserved) AND get your shoes back.

Linda said...

Yes, and it's very simple: I have no idea where she lives. She moved about a year ago and I have never been there.
Thanks for your comments Mathellin!

Audrey said...


I was wondering the same thing..maybe calling her and say "I'll need the shoes for my outfit tonight, may I come and pick them up?"

She probably has no idea how upset you are :(

Audrey :)

Revka said...

I, too, am very trusting and get disappointed when people don't keep their word. From my time growing up on the Mexican border, I know that the Latin culture is much more laid back about such things - not exactly a good thing. I hope you get your shoes back, and your respect as well!

Linda said...

Oh my gosh; I'm speechless that someone would steal someone's shoes!

Linda said...

Audrey; I have thought about calling her but feel that it wouldn't be a good thing to call her because of that.

Revka; yes the Latin culture is very laid back when it comes to things like this. They can talk behind your back but say it straight to your face.. no. I guess I can just forget about hte shoes, my new ones I had before are now becoming to worn out so i will have to buy a new pair...

Linda; I wouldn't say she stole it but she has definitely been keeping them for too long :)

Anonymous said...

by keeping them over this long period of time is actually like stealing. the longer she gets to have them more likelly she sees them as hers