Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Gentle disciplining?

I´m not sure what that means actually.

What is gentle?
I see other moms picking their kids up from nursery, they don´t even look at the kid, no hi how was your day, nothing. Simply turn their back and walk away. And their 3-4yr old walks behind.

When I saw that I was stunned.
I always smile to my son, make sure I ask him how he is, and give him a kiss. And the only time I will walk in front of him is if he doesn´t want to walk and I have to make sure we continue walking. But i will turn every 5seconds to make sure he is OK.

And then the disciplining.
OK, I am quite strict but I am very vague/week. I believe kids needs boundaries but some days I just can´t fight it.
I want my son to respect what I say and do as I say without arguing too much. I believe you should honor and respect your parents. Basic stuff.
But that´s difficult. Kids in this age, 3yrs old, argue, then don´t just listen to what their parents say.

I am still not sure what gentle discipline means, does it mean that you only talk or does it mean not beating your child? I believe in communication, but when talking doesn´t resolve the problem adn their is a risk for a life to be taken. Then I am not gentle.
No of course I am not spanking my child! But I do take him by the ear once in a while. Is that too hard?
Is that not gentle?

Oh yes I raise my voice, but tell me what mother doesn´t? Most does even if they don´t want to admit it. But does raising my voice mean that I am not gentle?

Really what is gentle disciplining?
Are you gentle or are you not?


Jennifer (Chronicles of a Night Owl) said...

I so wish I could say I was always gentle - but I know I'm not, and I really want to be. I am reading a terrific book - it's called "Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours" by Dr. Kevin Leman. He is a wonderful christian writer/speaker. I had the opportunity to go to one of his couples seminars that was held at our church, and he was awesome!
In this book he talks about reality discipline, and I'm trying to make myself apply it. I don't know if maybe you could find it on Amazon or something - but if you're looking for some direction, I think it's a great start!